Kiki, did you blow candles...
with Noodle?
So what did you blow?
Is it big... tell me how big
Is the candle?
Hey!
Why are you back? Left something?
Fxxk you! Loads of paparazzi are outside!
Hello, I am your reporter Six Pack
I am right outside Noodle's house.
According to our source
His girlfriend, Kiki the "Virgin"
Has slept over here at his house
And 5 minutes ago
A Kiki look alike
Came out of this door, then went back in again.
Did you blow candles?
What did you blow then?
What did you blow?
And we've already checked Kiki's schedule.
She has to fly to Tokyo at 3
To shoot a commercial...
Fxxk! That's my bra!
Why are you just sitting there doing nothing!
Help, think!
I need to fly to Japan to shoot a commercial.
I have to go to Thailand for a shoot too.
Then call you manager...
to see what she can do!
Why don't you call your own manager?
They don't let me date.
They've been telling everyone...
I'm a virgin.
Virgin?!
Do you want to be a pop star?
Open your mouth! Come on!
Good boy!
You don't need a dental check up.
Hey, let's go to karaoke for a test.
What's your best song?
"My Heart Will go On"
What?!
You look like someone I know.
Do you like to sit in the front of a taxi?
Really?!
Excuse me
Hello
Mom! Mom!
If you don't help me,
I'll be as good as dead.
What is it?
You've gone over your credit limit?
No...
There are loads of paparazzi outside my house
Trying to catch me with Kiki.
I've read the newspaper
Kiki's in Japan shooting a commercial.
But the thing is she changed it to tonight.
She's...
Sucking on a banana right behind me
Banana?!
I told not to take her back to your place.
You think I don't know.
But you know how head strong she is
She wanted to celebrate my birthday.
Can you deal with this?
Deal?!
I'll...
I'll deal with you first!
You do this every time.
Leaving a mess for me to clear up.
What should we do, mom?
I think only she
Can help us in the whole of Hong Kong...
Password please, miss.
Thank you
What's up?
Where have you been?
I've missed you.
You want me to help you...
out with Noodle and Kiki?
How do you know?
It's all over the news.
Can you help me?
Help? Of course I can.
I can throw a bomb and kill them.
Come on! I know you can help me out.
Like last time with "Big mouth"
They said she had plastic surgery
You dealt with that
And said she learnt to blow...
No... play the clarinet in Vienna
And the other time with the "King"
He was caught having an affair
You had the guts
And persuaded him to say he's gay.
He didn't have to pay a penny!
It's admirable.
Hey...
I know I'm good and clever but I don't need reminding.
I'll cut to the chase.
Deal with this in 3 hours, 300 thousand.
Why didn't you speak up! Wait for my call.
Hello! Can I speak to Dr. Lee?
How is it, baby?
Why haven't you called?
When are we going out for a drink?
Let's drink our way to hell some other time.
Hey, is the newcomer David...
in your hospital?
How do you know?
Just 'cause, so what's he doing here?
He's getting a circumcision.
Really? Has it been done?
Not yet
I'm doing it
Hey, why are you asking, you want some?
No. Am I the only one who knows?
He used an alias to register
Came in through a secret entrance.
And said he'll sue us...
if this gets out.
He's such a bastard
I'll cut a couple of inches more
See what girls think of that.
So why don't you tell me his alias
And which room he is in.
What will I get?
What ever you want, baby.
Baby!
I'll call you after finishing some business, ok?
Okay, bye bye
Hey!
What's taking you so long?
It's still dirty here
We'll not pay you, if you carry on being slow.
Hello, Alex Production.
Smartarse, please
There's no such person.
I'm asking for you, smartarse.
Miss Alex
Wipe the crisps off your face.
Then tell the smartarse next to you
Stop talking on the phone,
or I'll kill his boyfriend.
Put some news online for me.
The Hong Kong discussion board
I'll dictate it to you
Okay
Don't talk back!
I'll chop your arms off, if you take another bite!
Now find David's gossip...
and put them online.
Now! The quicker the better.
It takes time to upload...
such a big file.
I've just signed up to Hong Kong Broadband last week
It takes a few seconds to upload 1 00mb
Don't try to skive off.
The title is
"Cancer hits Newcomer David's testicles.
Rush to hospital
Adios balls!"
And
Call Andy Millman for me
I need 20 extras to act as paparazzi...
outside the hospital
Did you hear me?
Miss Jane, line one.
Hello
What's up...
You're finally calling me
When are you going to hand...
in your gossip column?
I'm calling to give you some gossip.
Don't try to talk your way out of this
I'm going to kill you if you don't hand it in.
Fine, I'll go home and write, see you.
I'll also kill you,
if you don't tell me now.
I've heard David is not in China doing a show
And...
He's in a hospital.
And...
Very ill
And...
Testicular cancer
Let me see...
Hey, come on.
It's on all the discussion boards
Do you have anything exclusive?
I know when he's going to leave
And I know which exit he'll be taking.
But you still need to hand in your column
Because I'll still kill you if you don't
And
I saw loads of paparazzi outside the hospital already
You better hurry
Just go home and write!
Team A, B, C,
- hurry to the hospital - Wait a minute, Miss Jane.
Team A is following Brad & Angelina
B is outside Noodle's
We don't have enough people.
Brad and Angelina has been together forever
What's going to happen with them?
Nothing has happened...
at Noodle's the whole morning. Wasted enough time already.
Just go!
Whoever miss any pieces for this gossip
Just don't ever come back!
What is it, boss?
Hospital, what is it?
Okay, I'll be right there!
Hey! Big news at the hospital
What is it?
Not sure
Just know it's big, loads of paparazzi are already there.
Yes!
Mr. Murdoch
Leave right now?
Don't I need to wait here?
Fake?
No, I did see Kiki
Short sighted?
I'm okay, I wear glasses.
Fire me, if I answer back?
Okay, I must be short sighted.
I'll go at once!
Hello!
As you can see a lot of reporters are here.
Look, David is finally coming out.
Rumour has it, it's been cut off!
But, he's not holding anything?
It's a mess here
Right there!
Fxxking hurts!
Hey!
You're very good!
What did you think?
I wasn't going to get this done?
Tell your boy to leave
The paparazzi might come back.
You're lucky
Earning 300 thousand like that
It's good business.
You tell your boy to shoot a couple more commercials
Everything will come back
And if anything comes up next time
- I'll give you one percent off. - Just shut it!
I don't want anything bad comes up!
I have to go.
Hey, remember to pay.
Okay... Bye bye.
Stop!
Hey, teach me how to shake these.
I can't...
I'll pay by EPS
Okay, do you need any cash?
500 please.
Hello?
Hello! Darling
You haven't given me a number yet, what should I buy?
Number?
520
520? It's worthless.
The company sells raincoat in Kuwait.
It rains once or twice over there a year.
Who will buy it?
Stop joking with me, darling.
Why do you ask if you don't trust me?
I didn't put a gun to your head.
Darling, that's not what I meant.
But... you...
Just don't contact me again.
Hello! Darling...
Holy Shit!
Granny!
Granny, are you okay? Granny!
Granny are you alright?
Let me help you up.
You okay?
I'll help you, don't be afraid.
Sit down on the side walk.
Here, sit down.
Okay
Are you really okay, granny?
Are you sure?
Yes...
You Fxxking bitch!
You old fogey!
You can commit suicide...
by hanging yourself, slit your wrist.
Have I done something to cross you?
Want to take me down before you die?
Come on, I'll take you back out on the road.
Come on, come on!
Come out!
Don't shout at me, I didn't mean it.
You were driving fast.
Why don't I walk if the car is not fast.
You are so old, you shouldn't try to cause trouble.
Go home and die.
Die, old fogey!
Lady!
Are you alright?
Hey! Lady!
Hey, wake up
Are you alright?
I'm alright, I was shocked.
Lady, where do you live?
Just two blocks down.
Oh, that's close, I'll take you home.
You are such a nice girl.
You've just passed out
I'll piggyback you home.
What about your things?
Just leave them there
The crime rates are low here!
- Comes on. - Okay.
That way.
OK...
Son, why would anyone thinks the crime rate is low here?
Of course!
How would we earn a living otherwise?!
That's why I always say I love Hong Kong.
Dinner Time
Hey, boss, having Playboy for dinner?!
Good choice!
I'm home.
Hey! Where have you been?
You've hurt your legs?
You guys have started already?
You want us to wait for you?!
Come... Sit...
Hey!
How come you're back empty handed?
Where are the gas
And the rice I've asked you to buy?
I...
Don't tell us you took a granny home
So you just left the things on the street
And someone just took them
That's amazing!
How come the two of you know everything?
What's amazing!
Not once have you ever came back on time
You have helped a blind person
Then a cripple
After that, you helped a beggar.
You're so smart!
Use a granny this time!
The granny was very unfortunate.
She lives on the 38th floor.
But there are no lifts...
So unbelievable!
No lifts for 38 floors?!
That's beyond unfortunate, that's disastrous
Alex
How did you handle it?
I'm a hot blooded young woman
I can't just let her walk all the way up by herself.
So I piggybacked her upstairs.
Well done, well done.
Alex, I have always taught you
All for one and one for all
We are all neighbours
You for me, and I for you
I'm a human, you're a human, she's a human.
Granny thought I was a nice person
She gave me this.
Alex, how many times have I taught you
Never receive gifts for your kindness!
But what is this thing?
This is an 40 years old...
3 prong cane she used.
Really?
She said I'll need this after piggybacked her upstairs.
I was lucky to have it. Without it I don't think...
I could have made it back!
How will she leave the flat from now on?
She said she'll just stay at home and wait for death.
What?
Remember
Next time when you pass by
Check if she's dead.
Help her till the end.
You must be hungry, sit down and eat.
Get out!
Go back out onto the streets
Boss
I have already went through the streets
I can't find the gas or the rice.
I want you to leave yourself on the streets
To see if anyone is kind enough to take you away
So I don't have to feed you, stupid.
Come on boss, Alex didn't mean it.
She only tried to help.
Are you upset that daddy...
is trying to teach your sister?
No, that's not what I mean.
But Alex really did no wrong.
So, it's my fault?!
What are you saying?
We're finished!
Pearl, what are you doing?
Just tell me
Who will you choose, me or her?
1, 2, 3, answer me.
I...
Norman! You have guts
Leaving me for your sister
Dad!
He's inhumane
I'm so pretty and clever, but he doesn't want me.
This can't be happening.
Look at you, you are betraying us!
Who did you turn to ten years ago...
with your sister?
You turned to me
And...
You only had 4 pair of undies,
3 shirts and 1 sock
Who gave you another to make it a pair?
That's me again
Boss...
I never thought of dumping her, I love Pearl.
You love me?! Then choose
You choose me or her?
I... choose... you...
Hey, you hesitated!
I choose you
I know you love me the most.
Hey, did you hear that?
Your brother chooses me over you
This is excellent
Happy ending comes so quickly.
Hey, You!
Why are you still standing there?
Go inside and wash the clothes
Don't sleep until they are dry!
Yes, yes.
Cook breakfast in the morning, okay?
Yes
Treat my daughter well
Bobo
Pick a 4 eyes unambitious person...
to be your boyfriend.
I'm getting marry, you are not!
- Stupid! - I'm getting marry, you are not!
Surprise!
Still young?
Was it fun?
Darling, I wanted to give you a surprise
Surprise?!
I really was surprised
Look at you
You look like a frog
Darling, you told me to buy 520
It rocketed right up before the market closed
In a few hours
I've earned 3 million.
Didn't you say they sell...
raincoats in Kuwait And it's worthless?
Not everything can be calculated
This 520
Has just been bought out by "Burex" condoms.
They uses...
the same material
They plan to make a condom shaped raincoat
Or was it a raincoat shaped condom.
Never mind what they are making
But they are now working together.
Once this news got out
The shares just rocketed.
Gypsy Chan was right.
Darling
You really are my lucky charm.
You only realise this now?!
You know I am clairvoyant?!
I also know that you are hungry
That's why
I went out and got us some shark fin soup...
for dinner.
We can enjoy it together.
Are you stupid?
You forgot I'm a vegetarian?
- No... - You tried to trick me?!
Do you know these sharks you eat are nearly extinct?
- Really? - Also!
Do you know how many acres are needed to fee a cow?
- How many? - Do you know the beef you dunk in...
and out during hotpot
How many African children that can feed?
And
And...
The way you eat people up,
is that vegetarian?!
What are you saying?
A joke, that's all.
Darling, don't be angry
This soup really taste good!
Take a mouth full...
You like it so much, have it all.
What's wrong?
You don't want to eat it now?
You tried to poison me?
You eat all of it! Come on!
Down it...
Swallow! Why aren't you swallowing?
Swallow! What's wrong?!
Sallow
Swallow...
What is that?
Darling
This necklace
I put it in the shark fin soup for you
What...
Oh... shit!
A few diamonds are missing
Oh, never mind
I think it will come out tomorrow
I'll look for it
In my own shit
Then I'll give them back to you.
This shark fin soup is really expensive
It costs me a few million.
I don't know why I'm still with you, you are so stupid?!
Have you forgotten, darling.
Don't you remember I give you
400 thousand every month
If I want to find a girlfriend
They'll cue up from Tsim Sha Tsui
All the way to the harbour tunnel
And the cue will go on after going up and down the peak.
So are you saying I'm with you...
because of your money?
You can leave!
Don't see me again
Don't call here...
and ask loads of questions like tele- sales!
That's not what I meant, darling!
Why would you want my money?!
Of course you like my good look
Whatever happens, I'm staying with you tonight.
Why do I need you here?!
You know...
Know what?
You know...
What's with you head!?
You want to... with my head?
You actually want to... with my head or...
I see...
Daddy, Daddy
Realtor Chu called
She said someone's willing to pay 1 5 million for this place.
Hey, Boss!
Don't sell the shop.
How will we make a living?
Are you stupid
When I have 1 5 million, I can migrate to Hawaii
It'll be relaxing, sunbathe with women all day long.
Hawaii is good.
I want to get a foreign boyfriend.
There's plenty to eat over there.
Wait!
If we move to Hawaii, what'll happen to Alex?
We'll take her to a special school
Isn't that for
The mentally challenged?
What?
Isn't she mentally challenged?
I've brought her up for 20 years thinking that.
You should have said, then I didn't have to waste my time.
It doesn't matter, just look at her
She will mix right in with the others.
We'll hand in a form, maybe they'll accept her.
Are you guys for real?
Can't kiss you, baby.
Daddy's reading porn next to me...
Breakfast!
Wow, this is excellent!
How is it, everybody?
Is it up to standard?
It's okay to put in my mouth.
What's the order for tomorrow?
Chinese sponge cake, spareribs & chicken feet rice.
Big breakfast with Sausage McMuffin.
I want a winter melon soup.
I don't mind what I'm having.
Hey? What're you eating?
Sit down and eat, come on.
Okay...
Why are you sitting!?
Change and go out to start working
It'll be your fault if we don't get any business today.
I'll go now, I'll go now.
Miss, need a traditional wedding gown?
Little girl, do you need to get marry?
Four eyes, anyone wants you?
Hey! Marry her! Marry her!
Hey...
Fatty!
Buy a traditional gown and worries will go away!
I've been married plenty of times
Are you stupid? Take it back!
Thank you...
Come to our store.
Thank you...
Alexis!
This is a surprise.
I've been watching you for a while
Before I dare to come and say hello.
Jack
Shooting a movie?
Movie?
The Corpse Bride.
I'm just kidding.
Don't need to be shy.
Where have you been all these years?
I was in the US, studying Ocean Biology.
I'm back in HK to follow a project.
That's great for you!
So how long are you staying?
I better let you carry on working.
Here's my card, please accept this.
Remember to call me.
I will, I will do.
Have you spoken to Alex lately?
I'm Alex!
Alexandra
I haven't seen her for a while.
I wonder how's she doing?
I still misses her a little.
It's late, I better get going.
See you soon.
What's so great about Alexandra.
Why didn't they ask me to dinner?
I'm so hungry.
Alex! Alex... Alex! Alex
Hey! Aren't you going out for dinner?
I know you'll be hungry, so I got you something.
Wow! Excellent, something to eat.
Silly, eat slowly.
Norm, are they really selling the shop?
As if.
That realtor lies all the time.
Then, are Pearl and you getting married?
Pearl wants a wedding of the century.
It'll take a century to get ready.
It'll take some time.
Then am I staying at a special school?
They are for the mentally challenged.
You're not retarded, although you look like it.
Anyway, they need interviews.
You have to pass that for them to accept you.
You're not that lucky.
That's not what I meant.
I'm not saying you are retarded, you are so bright.
Right?
You know how to eat and go to toilet on your own.
Only if you lied to me.
Are you really retarded?
Norman, how long does it take you for a piss?
Everyone's waiting!
Yes... taking some time!
The prostate!
Coming, coming!
I have to go, talk next time.
Do you need cigarettes
Magazines, biscuits?
No thank you, Norm.
I'm used to thinking of myself visiting you in jail.
I'll get going, going.
It's me again!
What is it?
You've got a letter.
Why is it opened?
Pearl said she should read them first
Before giving it to you.
I'm not really in Jail.
Pearl is just being considerate.
Never mind, just go.
Then I'll get going.
Be careful in there.
Remember, don't cause any trouble
Don't mess with anyone.
- Okay! - Listen to the people in charge,
okay?
Someone wants me, no one wants you!
Wait
What is it?
Is something wrong?
What do you think of my look today?
Once word - Absolutely amazing!
Really?
You describe how I'm dressed?
You dress like a cheetah
That's just "Cheerful"
When have you seen a zebra with braces?
My boyfriend says it gives him a puppy love feeling.
And it's cute.
Is you boyfriend nuts?
Likes to lick a gate?
I'll take them off.
Oh, Miss Alex
So is this party important?
You don't know half the story.
This girl
Was the flirtiest when we were in school
She was a mistress at 1 4.
Had abortion twice by 1 6.
Never thought she'll be the first to get married.
That's just unfair!
She invited me to this party
It's obvious, she trying to show off.
But we won't be scare of her.
When we are in there
We'll steal their boos
Drink their Booze
Eat their cake
Play their goods!
Understand?
Yes madam!
Follow the fat arse rabbits.
What the hell was wrong with them!
It said an animal theme party
There was only a few person there
Some of them pretended to be cockroaches
Centipedes and lizards?
Didn't they study
They are insects not animals
Excuse me
Look
Even Horse face and Ox head are here
Are we in hell?!
This is crap, let's go.
Shit!
The lifts were fine just then.
Miss Alex, what if we take the stairs?
Are you stupid!
This is the 99th floor, it'll take the whole day.
Big building like this must have more than two lifts
Go and look!
Yes
Miss Alex, a lion dance lion is coming for us.
Do we need to give it a red pocket?
Alexandra
Lion King, I don't know you
It's me, do you recognise me
Alexis?
That's right!
Haven't seen you for a while?
What have you done?
You are all hairy, and lion dancing?
Mimi invited me
Animal theme party.
When did you see a lion dance lion in a zoo?
But you'll fit right in.
They are all weirdoes in there
Just like you.
Hey... Don't go yet
We haven't seen each other for so long
Let's go inside and catch up.
Sorry, I'm busy
See you
I bumped into Jack the other day
So what?
He seems to miss you.
Call him if you are free.
What our business has to do with you?
We were classmates
I just want everyone happy.
Don't pretend anymore
You think I don't know what you're thinking?
You fancied Jack since Grade 7.
Such a shame, he likes me and not you.
But you can't blame him
I look better than you
My body is fitter than yours
And I'm smarter than you
It's not hard to choose between us
What do you two say?
Yes
You two take the stairs, I look for the lift.
See you.
Yes
If you are so good
Then why did Jack split up with you?
I think you are mistaken here.
I dumped him
I don't mind telling you now
I have never ever fancied Jack!
Then why did you...
go out with him?
You know how I like to fight for things
I knew you fancied him, so I went out with him for fun.
I like to see your loser's face.
Dig that!
You can't play around with feelings?
Do you know Jack really likes you?
I know!
That's why I was with him for 3 months.
Did you know when I dumped him
He was crying like a girl, so ugly
I'll leave the cry babies to you.
Are you insane?
Yes! I am insane!
But he chose a Looney
Over you, dancing lion.
How long does it take to find a lift?!
Wow! Where the hell am I?
So beautiful
I said there was more than one.
Alexandra!
Stay there!
You're stupid!
I'm standing right here, haven't moved at all.
I'll ask you again
Did you really never liked Jack?
Do you have Alzheimer's?
I've said it loads of times.
What?
Do you still fancy him?
Take him if you like
I don't mind people wearing my old shoes.
But you have to see if Jack likes you.
Do you need plastic surgery?
I know the advisors from Nip Tuck!
You bitch!
I have had enough
Why did you take Jack away?
Don't you know I like him?
Are you cracked?
I only stole your guy,
I didn't murder your family
Why are you hitting me?
I treat you as a friend, and this is how you repay me?
I don't need you as a friend.
I don't have cheap friends like you
Just save it!
We are both Alex
Do you have to push me so far?
I'm glad you notice
You're Alex, I'm Alex
You are so stupid and I'm so beautiful
There's no such thing as fair
Just face it!
You're just lucky!
If I was you, I'll be way better!
Stop blaming your luck.
If I was you, I won't be a big loser like you
Hey, Jack
Jack?
Hey
Hey, stop pressing the buttons.
What's happening?
You're Alex, I'm Alex
You are so stupid and I'm so beautiful
There's no such thing as fair
Just face it!
You're just lucky!
If I was you, I'll be way better!
Miss! Miss
Over! Over!
Two girls have fainted on the 99th floor's lobby.
Yes, I locked the doors
I don't know how they got in.
If I was you, I'll be way better!
If I was you, I won't be a big loser like you
Why have I become you?
I'm Alexandra, I'm Alexandra!
Come on! Hurry!
Alex, Alex!
The police said you fainted?
Are you alright? Where're you going?
Stop blocking my way, uncle.
Alex, what are you saying?
I don't know you, stop blocking my way to the taxi.
I'm your brother.
Hey, did you take drugs?
Don't you recognise your brother?
Bitch! What are you saying?
You... stand right there,
Let me hit you
I'm screaming at you bitch, so?
Big fat bitch!
Dead Eight Bitch!
You stand right there,
- hey - Don't...
- Why are you pulling me back? - Go
Alex...
Don't
Alex...
Don't...
Alex...
- She said I was... - Don't...
Shush
- Miss Alex - Miss Alex
- I'm Alexis - Are you alright?
Yeah
We were waiting for you for a few hours down stairs
So we came back up
And then found out you were sent here.
Are you alright, don't scare us
It's cold here, put a coat on
What should we do?
Take her back first.
Where are you taking me?
I want to go home, I want to go home.
We are taking you home
I want to go home!
Don't take me away, I want to go home
- We are going home. - Where are you taking me?
I want to go home, let me go!
Alex
Jack
What a coincidence
How come you're here?
My grandma is sick
Just so happens she's in this hospital
And just so happens I'm visiting her
This is a coincidence
I bumped into Alexis a couple of days ago
I asked her if the two of you stayed in contact.
Never thought I'd see you here
I know
You know?
Oh... I bumped into her today.
Oh, that's amazing.
There's more.
What did you say?
No... Nothing
It's late, I better get going.
Alex.
Yes?
I'm back in Hong Kong, but not for long
Maybe we can have dinner
Excellent! Excellent
That's a date.
But how will I find you?
This is Alex's card,
call her when you are free.
Yes, just call me anytime.
I'll call you in a couple of days.
Okay.
Alex...
Yes?
I haven't seen you for so many years, I miss you.
But the Alex you miss
Is not this Alex
We saw him walk out of this lift
And now he's back in
Yeah
That's weird.
I'm telling the two of you
Because it is too late for me to go home
That's why I'm following you two.
I'll go home first thing tomorrow morning.
Hey, do you think she has jump the tracks?
What's she talking about?
She acts like someone else.
Do you think she's being possessed?
Just ignore it.
We'll make it home first
If she's like this tomorrow, we'll get an exorcist.
Hey! Hey!
You two smartarse are finally back?!
Auntie, who are you?
I? Who am I?
I've been waiting for 2 hours.
Open the door!
Where's the key...?
Oh, I recognise you!
You are that lion!
Lion your arse, I'm your boss!
Are you mentally challenged?
Our boss is right here
Do you think I'm blind or what?
Ugly, tell the two of them the truth!
I see, you are back for revenge
Because my boss messed with you
Yeah, if you don't leave, I'll called the police.
I'll explain to the two of you
The person you see, it's not me
I'm Alexis, but I'm not Alexis
She's Alexis
You see her face, it's Alexandra
But she's not Alexandra
She's Alexis, I'm Alexandra
I look like Alexis, but I'm not Alexis
I'm Alexandra, she's Alexis
Do you understand?
I'll say it once more
Earlier on, I was with her
In a lift, started a fight
She hit me like this.
And I blocked them like this.
And the she just pressed...
Pressed... the buttons in the lift.
And then "dom..." it began smoking
Then "zoom"...
Understand now?
Alex, I think it's time for you to take some medicines.
Ugly, what did you say?
I'm not Ugly
I'm Alexandra
No!
You are Alexis
Hey! Let go of Miss Alex.
Scramble!
Ugly!
Are you playing games?
Don't you remember?
I said if I was you
I'll be better than you
Now you are me, I want to see how you will be.
Let me tell you something
I have wanted to be you for a long time
The two of you, ignore her
Let's go
Good night, auntie.
Hey
Promise ourselves, do our best!
I'm the real Alexandra!
Hey! Hey!
Alex, Alex
You calling me?
It's really you?
I followed you from the hospital
Come on, follow me home
Uncle, I don't know you.
Please stop following me
Did you bump your head?
You don't recognise your brother?
I don't have a brother.
So please stop following me.
Where can a girl so late at night?
Come on, let your brother take you home.
Silly, you really scared me.
Come on, go home
Hey...
You said you're taking me home
Then why are we here?
This is your home.
Come on
Why are you standing here?
I'm going, bye bye!
Hey... No...
Don't go...
I'm not going back.
I'd rather die,
- are you mad!? - You have to come back
You can do it alone
- Hey! - Come on...
Are you joking?
How can anyone live here?
Are you joking?
You've been living here since a little girl
Stop messing around
Go to the 2nd floor.
2nd floor?
Yes, 2nd floor.
Hurry
Go back up stairs
You must have hurt your feet.
Come on... Let me help you up.
Stop! I'll do it myself.
Can you do it?
Watch it...
Can you?
Let me push you up from the arse
Don't touch me, don't touch me.
Can you manage?
Trying to kill me with heat?
This is inhumane.
Holy Shit!
So lovely
A nice bed does make a difference.
Wow!
Who are you?
Boss, don't you recognise me?
I'm the cleaner
My name is Slurpee.
I want some breakfast.
But you never have breakfast!
Really?
Then a glass of water.
Darling
Darling, I miss you
Darling, why are you dodging me?
Who are you?
I don't know you
As soon as I heard you had an accident
I got on a plane to get back to you
You don't recognise me?
Darling,
I'm your boyfriend,
- Hugh! - Let go!
You don't recognise me?
Stop running
The more you run, the more into it I get.
Darling, you even give me your heart?
A real darling you are.
- You really don't recognise me? - Water
Darling
Ah! Mister Jazz!
Let's talk first.
Darling!
You... really don't recognise me?
Why should I, fat- arse!
Oh! Fat- arse!
You even remember my nickname.
And you say you don't recognise me
Mister Jazz, don't blame Miss Alex
She bumped her head, she doesn't recognise anyone.
What!? So would she become retarded?
Shut up, you're the retarded one.
Yeah
You'll just go nuts, right?
Why don't the two of you go out?
Yeah! Nut case, come on, here.
Okay, we'll have some food
Then go shopping.
Does that sound good? Yeah?
Food?
Food is good.
Come on.
Wait!
Number, number, I need number!
What number?
I haven't bought in the market yet.
434 or 344?
I don't feel right, not buying into one of them.
I don't know, 434.
Really 434?
Okay, 434, buy it for me.
OK...
Come on, let's drink.
Let's eat.
Alex...
What are you doing?
Alex
Change back into this quickly.
And when the boss comes back
Remember, not to tell him
I went out to hand out flyers for you.
The dishes are unwashed
I'll help you cook dinner.
I've also bought the ingredients.
If you didn't bump your head
I wouldn't be helping you.
Alex, this is hard.
What with the talking?!
Where are the things I asked you to buy?
These gossips magazines
You shouldn't read too much
It's bad for you.
Mom taught me that.
Alex...
Wow! This big a news.
I hear Money.
Hey!
What's up?
What's the big news?
Who are you?
Alexandra.
Wrong number.
What a nutcase?!
Alexandra is sitting right in front of me
She said she's Alexandra.
So what do you think?
Auntie.
Why have you brought me...
"Aloha" magazine to read?
I want you to help out...
with Noodle and Kiki.
I told them to put safety first.
Who'll treat you seriously if you are so relax.
They are really together?
Hey, auntie.
What other stories are real in the magazine?
Like this one
Which Miss HK is being kept?
And, which action star has an affair
And is denying it?
Tell me something, you must know?
Have you finished joking?
Load of paparazzi
Is trying to catch Noodle
You figure something out to deal with it.
Deal with it?
That's simple
Simple?
Just admit to it
Have you jump the tracks too?
What's wrong with that?
Having a baby is very normal.
Plus, Kiki is not exactly young.
Noodle isn't 18 either.
If they have a baby now
They can have another in a year or so.
Then all the fans will be gone.
And the commercials, the movies
All the contracts say
He cannot date, marry or have children.
But the baby is on its way
You're not going to tell them to abort it.
It's about time.
We are finally on the same wave length.
You are joking right?
Look at how cunning I look, do you think I'm joking?
I've booked the hospital already.
You're just a manager.
You're not an assassin.
These are the golden years for Noodle.
He doesn't have time for babies.
You taught me
In our business, when you lie
You have to lie till the end.
Did I say this?
Stop pretending!
Talk later.
I have to go and tie up lose ends.
You sucks, it's not fun being you.
Boss
What did you say?
Feli called
And said you need to sign this.
Okay.
Why doesn't you just speak Cantonese
Hello?
Hello, can I speak to Alexandra?
Who is this?
I'm Jack.
Jack?
Do you have time for lunch?
You've changed
So much over the years
Me?
What has changed?
You never would have came to a buffet with me
You liked Peninsula
Or Grand Hyatt.
People do change.
I think it's nice here.
Loads of people and food
Plus we can also sing karaoke.
Only if you were so nice back then.
That'd have been good.
So you are saying I treated you badly
Are you trying to count my flaws?
No.
Never mind
If you don't want to hear it, I won't say it.
Do go on.
You can say whatever you like.
You'll be happier for it.
Go on, go on, go on.
What a coincidence
Vivian persuades me, encourages me
To speak up about the unhappy past.
Who's Vivian?
She's my psychiatrist.
Psychiatrist?
Are you insane?
Ever since I broke up with you
I couldn't forget about you.
I couldn't take the fact we're not together.
I suffered from insomnia
Troubled, Angry
Mentally demented and was schizophrenic.
The symptoms you said
Can be fix with a couple bottle of "Menopause Suppressor"
I took half a dozen, but that was useless.
That's why I went to see a psychiatrist.
What did she say?
She said
I have to come back and find the source of my problem
And deal with it
The source?
That's you
You're not going to kill me right?
Of course not.
Vivian said, I have to talk to you.
About what?
Tell you my feelings for you.
But there are so many people here
That would be embarrassing.
Many people here is good
Vivian said
That can show my sincerity and my feelings
For you.
Just so happen you asked me to come here
I think this is fate.
I understand.
Your feelings for me are hard to hide.
Tell me, spill it all out
Okay, I'll tell you.
I've waited for this for a long time.
I've prepared
Loads of notes
And practice at home.
Are you ready?
Then I'll begin.
Come on, it's killing me.
Go to hell, you fxxking bitch
You dumped me, and it is so your lost
Because I'm the only one who can stand you
Without me, no guys will come near you
If there are, they'll be gays or impotents
Let me sum it up for you
Playing with yourself, everyday and night
Who... Who do you think I am?
Yes! I did it!
Alex, thank you.
You finally allow me to face up to myself.
If Vivian finds out I was so brave
She'll be happy for me.
Jack
I thought you fancy me?
No way.
After so many years, I realise...
I like another girl.
Who is it?
Alexis
Alexis?!
She is nice and kind hearted.
Do you know
Since I went to America
I dreamt of her every single night.
Really?
That's why I've decided
I'll tell her my feelings before I leave
I hope to take her back to America with me
Do you think we'll have a chance?
Yes, of course.
Alex, you are so nice.
I've just screamed at you, and still give me your blessings.
I have something to tell you.
I'm not actually Alexandra
I'm Alexis
I'm telling the truth, I'm really Alexis
Do you believe me?
You have not changed at all.
You still want to mess with me.
You shouldn't mess around with my feelings...
for Alexis.
I won't trust you again.
I'm so serious!
I'm serious too!
I can't be friends with you anymore
Okay, I'll prove it to you.
Hold it for me.
Hey, the pineapple looks ok.
Alexandra, Alexandra.
Come out right now, Alexandra.
Hey, what are you doing?
Ugly, why have you brought me back here?
I want to be you!
No, I want you to be me!
Gosh! I thought you said you want to be me?
What is it?
So now you want to change back?
I don't want to be you
You are a hated, inhumane, cold blooded animal.
Hey!
Have you finished?
It's not like you just know me!
I've been like this since Grade 1.
Look at it another way.
I being so consistent
Is something you should admire.
What's with all the talking?
Come on.
What, are you in a rush?
Hey, I've enjoyed being you.
Being you is so easy.
I don't have to think and sleep all day long.
I beg you.
I have to be myself again.
Jack actually likes me.
What?! He likes you?
Are you sure?!
Did he bump his head...
or he has got cataract?
He likes you?
He said I'm stupid, naive and that's cute.
His taste of girls are so extreme.
You can have him!
But...
If I will change back with you.
I'll be so out of character.
No, I'm going.
Hey! You can't leave.
Move, quickly
You don't need a knife, do you?
Move, go in, move.
What?!
Don't be upset.
Come and get something with me at my office.
Hey, stop pretending
Ask your boss to come out.
Leave
I told you many times, my boss
Is not here
So, you're not going to pay?
Miss Alex.
- What's happening? - What's happening?
These two tattooed men
Says you owe their boss money
They broke everything
Screaming and shouting
Yeah.
So, when are you going to pay?
My boss wants you to give him an answer.
I don't give out answers for free here.
When did I... no...
When did she owe you money?
I've got the loan contract here.
Want to snatch this? Next time.
My boss told me
To engrave a flower on your face if you don't have the money
Don't!
Bitch! Was I talking to you?
Screaming like hell!
I just feel sorry for her.
It's your lucky day, engrave 1, 2 extras for free.
I'll engrave a sunflower first.
Sunflower?
No... how about a seed instead?
What are you two tattooed men doing here?
You need a beating?
Go! Go! Go!
Miss Alex, are you owe their boss money?
I don't know.
Where's my file?
It was here?
Gone?
Hey, hey? Are you baby?
If you are, cough twice.
Is the bitch here?
Has the tattooed men engraved her face yet?
It was your excellent plan to backstab her.
Luckily that bitch didn't suspect you at all.
If not, I don't know who else can carry our debt
Baby, why aren't you answering me?
Let's go!
Stop there.
You either kill me now
Or you can let me go
Tell your boss
I will give him an answer.
Hugh!
Hugh, where are you?
You come out here now, Hugh!
Hugh
Hugh!
Uncle, have you seen Hugh Jazz?
I am Hugh Jazz
You are Hugh Jazz?
Darling
You don't recognise me?
Look at you.
What are you wearing?
Are you in "Fame"?
Shut up, bitch!
Darling
Your face are still so smooth
I thought the tattooed men engraved on your face.
About that
Why did you entrap me...
No... her?
When did she owe you money?
It's is all part of your evil plan
This is not radio drama
Of course, an evil plan is dark
And comes at you unexpected.
What's the fun telling you in advance?
Why did you do this to me?
She... no...
I'm your girlfriend.
Yes, Gypsy Chan said
She's your lucky charm.
Without her, you won't have any luck.
There's something you don't know.
Gypsy Chan also told me
Darling will bring me luck...
For two years.
After that, I have to dump her
And bring her down to save myself.
Fxxk off! Move!
Let me introduce some relatives to you.
This is your grandpa
This is your auntie
This is your grandma.
Hey, we are here to negotiate.
Let go, there are more fishes in the sea.
It's not worth it to be upset.
Oh, darling.
Your friend is quite funny.
I'm dumping you.
Why is she more upset than you?
Hugh Jazz
Tell us, who betrayed her?
Baby.
Who the hell is it.
She looks familiar.
Slurpee
Your eyes are not bad.
But why do you look like
A crossover between Britney & Christina?
You! You entrapped me
Feli called
And said you need to sign this.
Let me introduce
This is my new girlfriend
Brit-tina!
Look at yourself
You've got talents, you don't need to pick this prick.
He'll... just dump you.
Gypsy Chan told me
She'll only bring me luck for 3 months
Even though she knows this
She still wants to be with me
Ladies and gentlemen!
This... is true love!
I don't mind.
As long as we are in love for these 3 months
There's always an end to love.
There's always an end to the money he gives.
Just admit you are cheap, doing a part time job.
Darling
I wasn't going to dump you so soon.
But the number you gave me the other day.
The estate stock you told me to buy
Had a piece of land that was actually
A common grave.
That cost me a fortune.
Of course I had to dump you right away
You shouldn't be called Hugh Jazz
Called Jack Ass!
That's so cheap, calling names.
Baby, don't listen to them, let's go.
Darling, your office
I have given it to baby here.
And you don't need to pack your things
Your things along with Feli & Farlei.
Has been thrown out.
Hugh
You just watch it
There's karma
I believe that
You're so self centered and treat others so badly.
Look at how you are now
That's karma.
How I'm treating you
If you look at it another way
I'm just doing what meant to be.
I'm going for a swim with baby.
After you two finish chatting
Just throw yourself off.
Baby
I've lost... Lost everything.
I've got nothing... nothing
Nothing... absolutely nothing.
Don't be angry.
You can live here from now on.
It's a bit small
But we have each other.
Hey, I'm the one who's taking you in.
You're the one without a place to live.
Whatever, we are together now.
Don't you hate me?
Quite a bit.
But looking at you now.
It's hard to hate you.
Am I really so despicable?
The truth?
The truer the better.
Abso- fxxking- lutely
You mouth off, actions dishonourable and sinister.
People hate you from the front to the back
And when they see your back,/
- they want to kick your ass. - Enough, enough.
Let's not talk about this.
These sort of things, are like a cheating husband
The lesser I know, the wiser.
Let's talk about you.
How are you with Jack?
I really really like Jack
I think we are a perfect match.
A match made in heaven
A perfect couple...
- Enough, enough... - in every single way.
I'll make a sacrifice
And date Jack again.
Ouch
We just got better
Don't make me angry
I'm just joking
I'm hungry.
Anything to eat?
Have a tin of cookies.
Get it.
You threw it downstairs.
What!? Me?
Go down and get it.
You go.
You want to eat.
You get it.
You go and get it.
I don't know how to get down.
I thought you are hungry?
Can't be bother.
Good night.
Move
You sleep on that side.
You sleep on this side.
Your ass is so big
Baby, I can't kiss you
Daddy's reading a porn magazine.
Breakfast here.
How's the breakfast?
Alex, your friend?
I forgot to introduce her.
She's our new Filipino servant.
Cinderella
Underwear
It's Cinderella
Underwear is easier to remember
But we don't have money to have a servant.
You don't need to pay me
I only need a place to stay and food to eat.
I'm smell something fishy about this?!
Do you have an ID?
Yes, of course.
I have no criminal records.
Since when Filipinos' skins are so light?!
That means she's healthy
Underwear
Let Master does a body check for you.
- Daddy, stop right there. - Ouch!
It hurts
The thing is...
She's only half Filipino
That's why her skin is so light.
Underwear
Speak Filipino to us.
We are from the same country.
The coffee has been brewed so nicely.
And the noodles are "al dente"
Alex
Underwear cooks better than you
Really?
Thank you, Norman.
If everyone likes her
We'll let her stay then
Wait
Did I say yes to this?
If we have one more women here
It's inconvenient.
What inconvenience?!
A servant at no extra cost
That's excellent
Since Alex bumped her head
She can't cook or wash clothes.
It'll be good to have underwear helping out.
Yes
If I have to eat the food Norman cooks
I'll rather kill myself.
So are all of you voting against me?
Ignoring me?
I simply do not agree...
Who the hell is this?
Hello!
Yes!
Really
Okay, that's excellent!
Pearl, what is it?
You look ecstatic.
It's Realtor Chu
She'll show a client the shop tonight.
The client will pay on the spot, if it's right.
We'll be rich then!
Yes, that's excellent!
Underwear
You... can stay.
We are going to migrate anyway.
We'll just leave you two behind.
Daddy
Can we eat yet?
I'm starving.
Pearl
Call Realtor Chu
See when is she coming?
I've already called, no one is picking up.
I don't know where the hell she is.
Would that bitch be standing us up?
Excuse me.
Sorry!
I'm late
Sorry!
You said you are bringing a client, where is he?
He's here.
Get up, come on.
Okay! Let me introduce him
He came all the way from Thailand, Mr...
Chipchipchipchipchip
Munkmunkchipchipchipchipmunkchip
Munkmunkmunkmunkmunkmunk
Wow! Does he need a longer name?
There is a short version of this name.
Just call him "Chipmunk".
Is Mr. Chipmunk blind?
Blind?
You're blind.
I'm just resting my eyes.
Sorry, sorry
Please sit, Mr. Chipmunk
Sit, please.
What did he say?
What he meant is...
This place has a nice layout
Yes...
It's very roomy.
Sawadeecup.
Sawadeeca.
You're pretty.
Hey! You...
What's your name?
My name is Pearl
Miss Pearl
Can you...
Please give me your number?
What number, you...
You are so straight forward
Asking for my phone number so soon.
That's not what I meant.
I want your 3 measurements.
Hey! Curly!
You are here to look at the shop
Don't think about anything else.
So!
I was just asking.
Maybe she'll give it to me, if I ask a few more times.
I'll give you some
Just let me...
Mr. Chipmunk, let's talk about the shop
Do you like it?
Okay
It's a bit old, but if we redecorate
It should do nicely for my shop.
Mr. Chipmunk, what do you do?
Realtor.
Mr. Chipmunk wants to start a massage parlour
How could you?!
Our traditional business
Will be shattered by yours.
Plus a massage parlour is so dirty.
You leave, leave now!
We won't sell to you, leave.
Don't force me again, if you are wise.
Hey, stop messing around here!
He opens a massage parlour, so?
Mr. Chipmunk, let's sit down and talk.
Yes, Mr. Chipmunk
Everyone open these shops upstairs.
Why on the ground floor?
I want to save my customers' trouble.
If they have to walk flights of stairs to get here.
How can they takeoff
And when it's landing time.
It has to be down to earth.
You see?
It's down to earth.
Okay?
We are so connected, lets close the deal.
Deal?
How?
Do I deal with you or her?
Just find someone to deal with me.
Watch your mouth.
I'll deal with you too!
Deal!
He is asking, which one of you
Is dealing with him?
Let me deal with you.
Don't deal with my daughters, they don't know how to deal.
Mr. Chipmunk, the money...
Yes, million dollar babies.
It's all been prepared.
Money.
Do you need to count it, Mr. Kam?
Pish.
Wow!
Nah, it's not like I don't trust you.
If that's the case, let's sign the contract.
Then the deal is closed.
Boss, think about it.
This is about to become a massage parlour.
When I have the money
I don't care if this place becomes a graveyard.
Move your hand.
Boss
Stop obstructing my dad.
Our fortune is in his hand
Before we close the deal
I want to ask something.
Is your place clean?
Clean, very clean.
We clean this place up everyday.
No!
What he mean is
Does you shop have this sort of things?
This guy is really scare of them.
Very clean, of course.
What... what are you doing?
What's wrong with you, Alex?
Realtor, what's she doing?
Munkmunkmunkchipchipmunkmunk
Chipchipmunkchipmunkchipmunk
Mr. Chipmunk, she's calling for you.
I miss you... Oh I miss you
I don't know her.
That's okay.
But I know you
We are all waiting for you.
Underwear
Munkmunkchipchipchipmunkmunk
She's looking for you too
Who are you people?
I'm number 8.
I'm 777.
I know you are opening a massage parlour
Do you need more people?
I mean... more ghosts?
Our techniques are top notch.
Never fail to impress.
Ghost!
Oh My God!
It's used be a massage parlour here.
But it was burnt down.
And now it's a haunted massage parlour.
You said this has always been a traditional wedding shop?
Yes
Obviously, he lied.
Our bodies are still under the stoves.
Do you want to take a look?
He's making a fool out of you, stupid!
You two stop making things up.
What bodies under the stove?
Are you two Miss Marple?!
I'll get our boss if you don't believe us
What?
Oh...
What're you doing?
Who is call... calling for me?
I was playing mahjong.
What's with you?
Boss
He doesn't believe we've always lived here.
Did you tell him,
how did you two died?
How?
I raped then murdered the two of you
Then chop you two up into bits
And hide them under the stove.
Curly!
Do you want to take a look?
No... No...
Let me take you down under for a day tour.
It's a lot of fun.
How about no. 8 and 777 give you a massage
They are very good.
Ghost!
Ziyi, Lucy, wait for me!
Chipmunk, wait
I'm not drunk!
I can walk in a straight line.
Hey! What about the contract?
The contract!
Curly has left the building
That's not fun, boss.
I'll go back down to play mahjong.
Hey, what happened?
Yes, what happened?
How come there's rice?
Hey? What are you guys doing?
Boss, have you signed the contract?
You sold the place?
Hey! Why are you three staring at us?
Ouch! Ouch!
How come my back hurts?
I'm going upstairs to rest.
Yeah, that's good.
I'm going to 2nd floor.
I'll go with you
Let's go
All of you stand right there.
What do you want now?
Don't think this is the end of this.
I'll definitely sell this shop.
You two can beggar on the streets.
Pearl...
You shut up.
I'll kill you when you get home
Move!
Pearl, wait
- Pearl - Wait
Yeah
It's my brother's birthday tomorrow.
Can you arrange something to celebrate with him?
We can arrange a surprise party
I'll deal with it.
Underwear!
Where is Alex?
She's gone out
You need her?
Nah, I just got her some egg tarts.
Egg tarts?
Is it pastry base?
Alex love pastry base.
Of course it is.
Me too.
Have some.
Me? What about Alex?
I can buy more if you finish them!
- Come on, have one. - Okay, okay, okay.
It's delicious.
- You too, you too. - Come on...
Wait, wait...
You too
Oh, wait...
I'll teach you something new, try this
Lick it.
Come on.
See! Does it taste better?
Pearl
I didn't know Underwear is like this
Hiding in the back alley with my brother
Licking tarts.
I can't take this
I'm going to shout at them.
Don't, no, not yet.
Why?
They lick tarts during the day.
I don't know what they'll lick at night?!
We have to catch him red handed.
I know
My brother and Underwear
Is having a birthday party tonight.
That servant has the guts.
Trying to steal my man under my nose.
That's why we have to plan this
And see how we should deal with them.
I forgot to tell you
Alex wants me to tell you
Come to the shop at 1 2 tonight.
There's a surprise for you
Surprise?
She is so naughty.
I thought she has forgotten my birthday.
Hey, it's really Norman!
What the hell!
That bastard comes right on 1 2.
He's rarely on time when meeting with me.
There are plenty of time to buy things.
But there's only one chance to steal.
Daddy, what are you talking about?
Let's go in.
We can't, Alex said wait for her.
Where the hell is she?
I'm here, is there a surprise party?
Is there a surprise party?
What's taking her so long?
Is Alex going to come?
If we don't make a move, it'll be 2nd half.
What 2nd half?
Scoring for the 2nd time.
Come on! Stop scaring me?!
Hey! What are you watching?
Spying.
Spying, on what?
Just cue up, and stop asking.
Underwear?
Why... are you here?
Shouldn't I be here?
Aren't you... Alex said...
Alex told me to go and watch a movie
If... you are here, then who's inside?
Happy Birthday
Broadway, Broadway
Is the best, is the best.
Alex
Ever since you bumped your head
You've been a different person.
And, where did you get this shiny bra?
Don't treat me as Alex
Well, who should I treat you as?
Whoever you like me to be
What's important is that I don't treat you as my brother
You don't treat me as your sister.
Stop sucking your finger, it's dirty.
If I don't suck my finger, what else can I suck?
You like to suck so much?
Oh! I'll lend you something to suck.
Hey
Isn't this a surprise party?
Come on, I lied to Pearl to come out
I have to go back soon.
Why don't you ask what've I got you?
Yes, what did you get me?
My gift is very big.
Big? How big?
It's as big as me
As big as a person?
Where have you hide it?
I'm giving myself to you
Stop! Norman
- Wow! You... - Pearl! Look at these two!
- Disgusting. - Wow
What you are seeing...
is not what you are thinking
I thought it was bad enough you are cheating.
But you like this sort of thing?
You are nuts
Pearl, listen to me
Alex knows it's my birthday
So she was just messing around, cheering me up.
You are her brother.
You can't mess around with these things.
I knew you two aren't real brother and sister.
You are so smart, saving her
For when you are thirsty.
Boss, what are you on about?
You know
I'm not this type of person.
Pearl, don't trust this type of men.
Today, he says he is celebrating his birthday with Alex.
Tomorrow, he might...
Grab Bobo to celebrate Mid- Autumn festival
Why are you saying these things?
Everyone knows
I treat Bobo as my own sister.
Hey! What are you doing?
You're for real?
Of course not, I just want to make Pearl angry.
How can you do something so outrageous?!
Norman, you leave now!
I don't want to see you
Alex, speak up for me.
Pearl... I...
Shut up, I don't want to hear it.
No...
I want to tell you, looking at your face
I'm so happy
Pearl! You deserve this!
Brother, dump her!
- Pearl! Pearl! - Hey, Pearl...
Alex, what were you saying?
What did I say wrong!
Underwear, let's go.
Norman, don't blame Alex
It's not her fault
It's your fault
You two planned this together.
- I... - I what?
Ever since you came, nothing good has come
You leave now!
Why are you kicking me out?
Don't shout at her
I thought up everything
It has nothing to do with her.
Okay, then both of you leave!
Okay, we'll go to karaoke, let's go!
Brother... no...
Norman
Happy birthday
Stand right here
What now?
Why didn't you two ask me to come?
Don't you need to go to your girlfriend
I just be scream at there
I might as well make the most of my birthday.
- Let's go together then. - Hurry up...
Okay, let's go to Neway.
I heard they give out free birthday cakes.
Really?
What's taking you so long with the sprouts.
And there are clothes for you to wash.
Yes, I know...
Answer this for me.
What...
Hello
Where have you been?
I can't find you.
You want me?
I have something that needs your help.
Someone wants me to open a new gossip magazine.
And let me be the Boss.
Congratulations.
But my future all depends on you.
Me?
Stop pretending.
I know you have kept
A secret file with all the gossips.
If you'll sell it to me
The sales of my first issue
Will definitely rocket to sky high.
File? What file?
How much will you pay?
However much you want.
Who is this?
She...
I'm her new assistant.
I'm talking for my boss.
You hand over the money, I'll hand over the file.
Yes, a straight money, file swap.
Okay, I'll wait for your news.
Do you really have such a file?
Of course.
Where is it?
Hugh Jazz stole it.
What should we do?
You've promised to sell it to Jane.
We can steal it back.
Steal? You know where it is?
I know exactly where it is.
We'll steal it back tonight.
Alex! Underwear!
I've got food.
Norman, you've bought egg tarts again?
Yes, it's red hot!
Eat while it's fresh.
Why have you bought so many things?
They're for you.
For me?
Yes, when you were younger
You really like this princess dress.
I was really poor, I couldn't afford it.
Now... it's yours.
And, and, and...
This "cabbage" doll.
You really like that too.
It's also yours
This doll is really cute
It really has cabbage inside.
You can cook it when you are hungry.
Norman, why are you acting weird?
Is there something you want to say?
No.
Oh!
You've got cancer.
I don't have cancer.
Well... You guys are in trouble!
We're in trouble?
Pearl has sold the shop to the fatty next door.
What?!
What should we do?
That's why I bought this piano
So you can have an act
When you are beggaring on the streets.
There are a lot of songs...
in its memory.
Beatles and Elvis are all there
But few of Justin's are missing.
I don't want your things.
Alex, don't blame your brother.
You, are you are man?
You do whatever that bitch tells you to do.
You leave your sister behind on her words.
You disgust me.
Sister, relax,
I'll persuade Pearl.
I won't leave you
Or Underwear behind.
What if she won't change her mind?
Er...
That means you don't know,
you are useless.
Norman, if Pearl can't be persuaded
Don't force her
I don't want to make it hard for you.
Are you nuts, letting him off?
You should push him.
Push him to bring the man out in him and help his sister.
How come it sounds more and more like
Underwear is my sister.
Alex
There are things that can't be forced.
When people grow up, they depend on themselves.
Alex has grown up
She'll take care of herself.
How come you are getting upset too?
Norman I promise you
I'll take good care of Alex.
I never knew
Alex has a good friend like you.
She is lucky.
But I really couldn't have thought
You Filipinos
Have such loyalty
My egg tarts are not going to waste.
Come on! Have one.
What? You're letting him off?
Silly, there are plenty.
Eat slowly.
Look, look at me
I eat slowly
See?! You eat slowly, slowly!
What's the rush? Ignore her.
- We eat slowly! - Come on.
But slowly
Hey, where are you?
Hey, hey!
You want us to be discover?
We are stealing here.
No one is here!
Hey, have you found it yet?
Fxxk all.
That Slurpee is carrying it with her on a necklace.
Someone's coming.
Vanish.
Baby
That XXX school uniform party was so fun
Why are we back here?
Let's go to a love hotel instead.
Baby, It's more fun here than a love hotel.
What's fun here?
Let me introduce you
To the clapper switch I've installed.
Once to switch off the lights, two to switch on.
It's very fun.
No way.
Wow!
Is it fun?
Very fun
Come on baby, come on
Don't push me... don't push me.
Baby
Don't... Don't...
- don't come closer. - See where can you go.
I give up
Look how weak you are, I thought you do it a lot.
Ouch... If you carry on, you won't be doing me
You will be doing it to a corpse.
Really? Then let's get on a train?
A train?
Horny Yamanote Line?
Baby, how come you know I like to be a dirty men?
Baby! Baby can you see?
That's Shinjuku.
That man and woman
They are Kimura, Ayu French kissing.
Baby
What?
You're a dirty man, I'm a school girl
Why don't you do whatever you want?
Baby, why are you standing?
No one is in this carriage.
Just find a seat.
You look so horny
You bastard, wasting my efforts.
Don't rape me
Don't
Don't rape me! Baby
Baby
What?
Don't!
- Come on - Baby, yeah!
Baby
Didn't you really want it?
I don't, no, baby...
- Don't! - Stop moving.
Oh, you're so bad, baby
Baby, don't!
Don't rape me!
Don't...
Rape me now, quick
You can't wait any longer?
Ah? One!
- Why are you holding my hands? - Two.
Three...
Impossible
Baby!
Rape me
Rape me, now.
There's no way our father and son team will lose.
1 bamboo
Sweetie, can I have a cup of tea.
Coming, mom.
Red Dragon
Pearl, congratulations
At last, you are getting marry.
I guess you'll just have to wait.
Bitch! Just wait till you get divorce.
Hey, are you going to play?
West
That's my "eye", Mahjong.
Mine is a higher Mahjong.
You think I don't know
It was you two...
that stole my gas and rice.
Pay up, pay up
Pay up, pay up, pay up...
Daddy, how come Norman's not here yet?
Oh yeah!
Hey, where has your brother gone?
How do I know, traffic jam?
Traffic jam?
He lives upstairs.
Go and tell him come down here now.
Shit, shit...
Shut up with all the swearing!
It's bad luck.
No, I was looking for Norman upstairs
He wasn't there.
What? Missing.
Where has Norman gone?
Maybe he can't take you anymore
And did a runaway groom.
Impossible, he was still fine yesterday.
He didn't look unhappy at all.
Yeah, but I've heard
People don't talk much before suicide.
Oh, don't scare us.
Norman won't commit suicide
Hey, have you seen
If he left a note around or
Left a message or something?
Oh, yes.
What is it daddy?
Yesterday, Norman just gave me a CD.
And said you have to listen to it today.
Why didn't you say so earlier?!
I'm getting old, my memory is not so good.
You don't have to shout at me every time.
Come on, stop arguing.
Let's listen to it.
Pearl, when you hear this
I have already gone to a place
Far far far far far
Far far far away
I thought been thinking
If I have to leave Alex to be with you
To choose between romance and family
I will definitely choose
To leave you
You are so smart and pretty
You can find someone else without me
But Alex is different
She looks like a spaz.
So being her brother, I need to take good care of her.
Pearl
I hope you can forgive me.
I have just started to write poetry.
I want to give my latest work to you.
Can I hide, I'm afraid to be the third wheel
Sticking around, it's difficult to take.
If I'm left behind, I hate that feeling.
I turned back as I was to leave.
Can I admit, I am the third wheel.
What wheel, what kind of poetry is this?
Don't listen to this.
Norman wouldn't leave me behind.
He wouldn't dare, he...
What is it?
Where's Alex and Underwear?
They were here...
We've been had!
Wow! It's hot, excellent!
Come on...
Sister!
Have a mushroom, have a mushroom.
You should have seen...
that bitch's face.
It was black as coal.
Really?
But to be honest
Isn't it a bit bad to hurt her like this.
It is her big day after all.
It's fun to do this to her on her big day.
But it only worked because brother was being hard.
It's a man's job to protect his family.
Plus... I can't just leave my sister behind.
But, I worry about one thing.
I wonder what they think of my poetry.
Hey! Now you mention it
That poetry is lyrics from a song, that's quite hit.
Really, is that so?
If this is a song.
Then it should be quite difficult to sing.
It's is very easy to sing off the key.
How do you know?
Never you mind.
- Brother - What?
So what are you going to do?
I'll look for a new job tomorrow.
Being a coolie, being a gigolo
Whatever I have to do to raise you two.
You are such a man!
Norman
For fxxk sake.
You said...
you're going to a place far far far far away.
And that's behind our shop
How far is that?
I've embellished a little with my words
Don't kick me down.
Norman, I ask you
Are you really dumping me?
I'm awake without getting drunk
I've lost the love without being in love.
I ask you, are you?
Answer me.
You should look for someone else.
Norman.
Don't leave me.
I've waited for a long time, for someone to want me
I can't let my old schoolmate be right about me.
Please don't let them have a chance to laugh at me.
Norman.
Please don't leave my daughter
I've already paid for the banquet
I'll lose the money if we don't go.
I beg you, please
You... If not a wedding banquet
Will become my wake, Norman.
I'll listen to whatever you say.
Do whatever you want me to do
Whatever I say?
If you ask me to walk, I won't run.
If you ask me to use pepper, I won't use salt.
I don't want to migrate.
No problem.
I want my sister and Underwear
To move in with us.
But there's not enough room.
Your dad can move to the 2nd floor.
What?!
2nd floor?
You can have your wake.
Okay, I'll live here.
Anything else?
Anything you two want to add?
None, at the moment.
How about you?
Let me think about it.
Yeah, think about it. Get up.
Then we better make a move
We are just in time to sit down
And receive our gifts.
Four eyes!
Have you finished?
I want to go there and meet the manager.
Really?
Then hurry, come on, chop chop.
Hey! Bobo, what manager?
The service manager or general manager?
- Darling - Answer me!
This looks more like a coffin
Looks like I'm going to die here.
Special Report
The Pregnant Kiki along with Noodle
Has come out to face the press.
At the conference they say they'll get married.
But more unbelievably
They say...
they'll eat watermelon for the press.
Didn't she abort the baby?
I fixed that.
Fixed, but how?
I asked Gypsy Chan to called their manager
And told her their son
Will be hotter than Brad Pitt and George Clooney together.
She signed the baby up to a total of
1 20 years.
That's more like a person.
I'm going to be a person doing good deeds.
That's not true.
You sold...
that secret file to Jane
When did I?!
No?
Then why did she pay for your debt?
Well I gave her something...
even better.
Miss Jane, I have sent the provisional cover to you.
Please take a look
I'm a loner for life
Masturbation is my fate.
Your revenge is so sweet.
Well, everything is off my chest.
The 1 20 years old...
Valentina K style elevator
Not Valentino, but Valentina
Has finished its mission,
and will be transported
To the British Museum for display.
This elevator has witnessed
The changes of Hong Kong over the century.
What are you thinking?
The same as you.
Boss, dinner time...
Hey, dinner's been cooked.
Should we wait for you?
I'll start without you.
Hey?! Where's the lift gone?
Where are the buttons?
Everything's gone.
What should we do?
Looks like I'll be you...
for the rest of my life.
It's not as bad as you make it.
It's good to be me.
Look at how good the skin is.
Yours is not so good, it's not as firm.
It's your fault, you eat non- stop
Do you how much heavier I got
Since you became me?
Look at the hip, how... fat
You know I love eating junk food
And I thought, this is your body anyway
So I didn't care for it.
Oh, please
From now on ask me before you eat
And, from tomorrow morning
You have to do 1 00 push ups
200 sit ups.
Are you out of your mind?!
We can't change back anyway
So why bother.
Stop talking, let's go home
The boss is waiting for us to start dinner.
Hey... hey, come and look at this.
What?
Don't you think it's weird?
She's carrying a basket.
You're carrying a basket.
She's got a headband
With a butterfly.
The same as your
Look! Her necklace and yours
Are exactly the same.
Wait, look at her bracelet
It's the same as yours.
How can this be?!
What do you remember?
I remember the same thing as you do.
Do you think, if we bang our heads once more
We can change back to ourselves?
Are you alright?
Banging your own head, isn't that stupid?
Hold this for me.
Ok.
That's why, I'll bang your head first.
Remember to bang mine afterward.
What?!
Hey! Don't do it!
- It won't hurt! It'll work! - You go first!
Jack
Do you think, your mom
Will like the black forest cake I've bought?
You are my girlfriend
The cake is so black, of course she'll like it.
Oh, at the birthday party
Do you think it's a bit too soon
If... I talk to my mom about our wedding?
Man should take charge of these things.
So you are saying I can?!
I'm not talking to you...
Holy shit!
Alex, are you alright?
Go and buy me another cup.
There are plenty of drinks at the birthday party.
Go now, crap- arse.
Do you need any sugar?
I'll give you some if you go now!
Okay.
Hello...
Shit!
What is this?!
For the past 6 months, we keep swapping around
What should we do?
This is shit!
Jack only just proposed to me
I haven't said yes... then I turned into you.
I was meeting a client too!
You hold on to the client for me
How? I don't know where she is at
Tell her to repeat it again.
Okay.
Auntie, where were you again?
You've asked me over and over again.
I've told you many times
That bastard, took photos of me
Then disappeared
And said he's filming Batman in America.
To hell with that!
I've watched it 29 times
And I can't find him.
So how should I deal with that?
Could he be the Bat himself.
I never thought of that,
I'll go and watch it again.
Hey...
But Batman wears a mask, only his mouth is showing.
How could you recognise him?
You can relax.
I've French kiss with him many times
I'm very familiar with the shape of his mouth.
Plus, he's famous
For having a slanted mouth.
Oh! I know who you're talking about.
Oh! We'll talk again.
I'm going to watch it again, see you.
Hello...
How did you do?
Done, you don't need to come back.
Really?
What about you?
Jack says we go home and watch DVDs
I think he wants to do it
What? Don't try anything, just watch DVDs.
Last week, he said he'd cook for me
We ended up doing it 3 times.
What?!
Sorry, it just slipped out.
What do you remember?
I remember the same thing as you do.
No. 2! No. 2! No. 2! No. 2!
No. 2! No. 2! No. 2! No. 2! Bitch!
Fxxk it.
That's why, I'll bang your head first.
Remember to bang mine afterward.
What?!
- Hey! Don't do it! - Hey, Hey!
- It won't hurt! - You go first!
It'll work!
Promise ourselves, do our best!